Dealing with Negative People

Do you know someone who seems to never have a positive thing to say about anything or anyone?  Someone who constantly complains about situations and criticizes other people?  If you’re a positive person with a sunny outlook, spending time with negative people with dark clouds looming over their heads is sure to impact your mood and increase the chances of you becoming their Debbie Downer partner in crime.  If you’re ready to take control of the negativity in your life read on. 

What can we do to reduce the impact that these people can have on us?  The first thing to do is to try and understand why these individuals are the way they are.  What leads people down the negative path?  Many typically possess characteristics such as:

• Attention seeking tendencies
• Learned behaviors from others, such as their parents

• Low self-esteem
• Passive-aggressive tendencies
• Mood disorders such as depression

Constant exposure to other’s negativity can, in time, cause your own levels of optimism to crash and burn. There are many ways you can deal with persistent negativity depending on the type of relationship you have with the person concerned. Where the negative person is someone with whom you do not have many personal dealings, avoidance may be the best policy.

Often, however, it may be a co-worker or family member that is constantly dragging you down. This makes the situation much more difficult to deal with as it is both chronic and more personal. Here are some further suggestions:

• “Dilute” their impact by spending time with them only when other people are around.  Try to limit alone time.

• Don’t buy into the negativity.  Be assertive and state “Enough of the doom and gloom” and change the subject.

• Replace their negative statements with a positive one. Ultimately they will get
sick of not being heard.

• Praise their good attributes; they may then feel less of a need to be negative and you may also help to improve their self-esteem.

If you sense that someone in your close circle is suffering from depression or low-self esteem you may want to suggest they get treatment from a therapist to help them deal with their issues.  Attention seeking, passive-aggressive communication and other learned behaviors are more difficult to address but if you can get them into therapy the therapist should be able to address these issues when the time is right. 

Take a few moments to evaluate the relationships in your life.  Consider your coworkers, family and friends and see if you can identify the negative and positive people in your life.  Then make a concerted effort to spend more time with the positive people and using the tips above to keep the negative folks at bay.  In time you may just find your own level of happiness and optimism at an all-time high. 

            

American Medical Association Officially Labels Obesity a “Disease”

Obesity is a significant contributing factor for many diseases including heart disease and diabetes so it should come as no surprise that obesity has been looked upon as a risk factor by the medical community.  Approximately 30% of our nation is considered obese with another 40% considered overweight and statistically moving towards obesity.  With the cost of obesity-related disease surpassing tobacco-related diseases for the first time in years and with the bulk of our nation’s medical expenses related to preventable conditions, it wasn’t shocking to learn that the AMA finally labeled obesity as an official disease.  Was this a good move?  What does this mean for treatment and how might this impact our already struggling health care system?

            First of all, this move has upset many individuals including some that argue that one shouldn’t have to maintain a supermodel figure in order to fit in with mainstream society or in other words; big can be beautiful.  Others have commented that it is an individual choice to eat and live as they please so why should they be labeled as having a disease?  Let’s be honest, the media is chalked full of models, sexually suggestive ads and stereotypes leading to a distortion of healthy body-image and an unclear message of what it means to be healthy.  And while it is our choice to eat as we please the food system has become one of convenience and poor in nutrients so choosing to eat three square meals from the drive through doesn’t carry a strong argument. 

            I agree that media has done us a disservice when it comes to body image. It’s ironic that the same media advertises nearly impossible and statuesque physiques in one commercial yet we’re now told to eat at the newest fast food burger chain or feed our kid’s the latest sugary beverage in the next.  Regardless of obesity’s new designation hopefully we can eventually address our perception of ideal weight, overweight and obesity as we move closer to a healthier generation. 

As a health and fitness expert I think we’re talking about two extremes to the same issue.  Meaning it is extreme and potentially unhealthy to strive for a supermodel body and simply unhealthy to be overweight or obese. If ones body-fat percentage (the ratio of organs, bones, lean muscle mass & fat mass) or BMI (body-mass index or ratio of height and weight) falls into the overweight or obesity category than we are at risk for developing heart disease, diabetes and a host of other problems.  Excessive alcohol consumption can lead to liver disease and too much sun exposure can lead to skin cancer.  Simply put a lifestyle of excess can be dangerous for all of us. 

It is understood that obesity is a link to life-threatening diseases and now that obesity is considered a disease our medical community will be forced to recognized it and treat it; something not necessarily required in the past (doctors don’t want to call us fat and haven’t had the time to prescribe a fitness regimen).  We can now expect and only hope that our doctor will provide counseling for obesity and weight-management services, treatment plans and medication (yet hope they don’t promote medication over lifestyle changes). 

In the short run I’m certain insurance claims will go up, prescriptions will be doled out as a quick fix and insurance premiums are likely to continue to increase.  However after a significant amount of time, education, treatment and guidance I’m hopeful that some time over the next decade we’ll start to see a promising new trend towards national health and vitality.  Who knows, someday the headlines in 10-20 years will read, “U.S. Obesity Rates Fall to Record New Lows.” 

American's Embrace Health & Obesity Trends Sharply Decline...Really?

Recently the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention unveiled the nation's most recent survey of obesity rates in the U.S. and I have a feeling you won't believe what was found.  Over the last couple of decades childhood and adult obesity rates have skyrocketed to the point where obesity related diseases are poised to become our nation's leading cause of death and increasing health care costs to the point of utter destruction.  Recent reports however are finally showing that this trend is now reversing and American's are finally on their way to improved health and vitality.  Got your attention?  Read on. 

                In a turn of events similar September's Seattle Seahawks and Green Bay Packers controversial call, the recent shift in obesity trends towards a leaner nation has everyone scratching their heads; how did this happen?  Have American's finally woken up with a new found motivation to live a healthier lifestyle?  Well, check out these statistics and decide for yourself.  Texas, with one of the highest rates of obesity is now in the running for the quickest decline in obesity rates with many other mid-west west states following suit.  East coasters, not far behind, have created a community campaign to remind families to eat healthy, local and not skip meals.  The school districts have returned to a 5-day per week physical education program and serving health tasty lunches.  In our own neck of the woods we've managed to cut out sugary beverages, purchase most of our foods from our local farmers markets, eat out less frequently and exercise throughout the week.  Corporations have embraced work-site wellness programs, employees are spending less time sitting at their desks all leading to increased productivity, efficiency, decreased absenteeism and greater profitability.  And get this, not only is our waistline shrinking and overall health improving, new cases of diabetes and heart disease have dropped and some have reported that they no longer need medication.  And believe it or not, our mental health is only getting better as well.  Medications necessary to treat depression, anxiety and sleep disorders are the lowest they've been in years with many pointing to the increase in exercise and better nutrition as the culprit.  Some are suggesting that even families are healthier, more connected and vibrant as ever considering that families are once again sitting down for dinner each night together sans television.  American's are finally healthier than ever and are now considered a model for the rest of the world.

                Wait a minute.  Is this really happening?  It sounds too good to be true.  And, unfortunately, it is.  The above statements are not facts are nothing more than hopes and dreams for a healthier world.  The truth is that our nation is unhealthier than ever with obesity rates on the rise as usual and obesity related diseases on the brink of collapsing our health care system.  Some reports even suggest that some parents will outlive their children due to their children's poor health choices and lifestyle (modeled by the parents of course).  The real truth is that if we integrated the points in the story above into our own lifestyle we would be able to turn the corner towards a healthier America and when you think about it, living an active lifestyle, eating healthy meals as a family and being proactive with our personal health is an opportunity many people don't have.  Therefore let's take advantage of this opportunity, take personal responsibility with our own health and prove to the rest of the world that our nation is the model of health. 

The Problem with the Profession of Health & Wellness

     I have been considering writing this article for some time now but hesitated due to concerns with angering our local health and fitness professionals.  Additionally let's not forget that I've worked in the industry for 18 years now in a variety of capacities including trainer, coach, health club owner and mentor.  So when I state that there's a problem with personal training it has the potential to create debate.  Before I go any further let me start by saying that this article in no way is an attempt to bash personal trainers.  The profession is a respectable career and one filled with compassion and a desire to truly help prevent disease and create a life of vitality and wellness.  My problem is this; with so many trainers and health and fitness professionals in the world, why aren't we seeing a decline with obesity and preventative disease?  And why do some clients get results but others seem to experience only minimal to moderate results?  Lastly, why aren't more people utilizing the services of fitness professionals or health clubs?  Is there really a problem with the profession?

     Some time ago I remember meeting with a weight-loss client struggling with late night eating and self-sabotage.  Every time she'd reach a weigh-loss milestone she would find herself frantically binging on high calorie food during the wee hours of the night only to completely reverse all of the hard work she had accomplished up that point.  This cycle was a common theme for years.  Another client spent most of his days sitting behind a computer diligently working away and packing on the pounds each year until he became tired of the weight and started working out again.  His pattern was working out with a trainer for 4 months and then stopping for 8 months until he gained all of his weight back and continued training again.  Recently he was diagnosed with high blood pressure and diabetes.  Why couldn't he change before this happened?  Another client asked me to work with her young daughter who at the age of eight was clinically obese and already had elevated triglycerides and cholesterol.  That's right, seven years old.  The common thread with the above three examples are that the first two clients never managed to maintain consistency and eventually dropped off my radar.  The family of the young girl I referred to eventually ceased training and from what I understand her level of health has not improved.  In each of the above cases the clients came to me looking for the answers to improve their health, the key to success and a dose of regular motivation needed to change their lives.  Was there something wrong with me?  Did my nationally recognized certification and years of education not provide the solution necessary to help improve the above clients lives?  Actually I think there's a more complex problem at hand that we all know exists but don't openly discuss. 

      The bottom line is that our lifestyles and communities have completely morphed into a sedentary condition that's unlike anything we've ever experienced.  Our days are spent behind computers, our food largely is processed, genetically modified and regular family meals are becoming a thing of the past for many.  Physical activity is being engineered out of our very lives for adults and children alike and not much is being done to ensure that this trend reverses.  And here's the problem with personal training and fitness centers.  They target a population that is already thinking about exercise, nutrition and wellness and individuals that are already doing something about it.  These centers and professionals are perfect for those looking to take their fitness to the next level or improve their time at their next triathlon or drop the last 20 pounds.  Most however fail to properly educate our community in all the areas necessary to succeed with ones health.  True health encompasses mindfulness, a certain awareness and honestly with oneself in terms of their current lifestyle, values and actions.  It requires one to come to terms with past and current experiences and move towards a life of truth, integrity, passion and vitality.  In essence true wellness requires that one focus on mental health while concurrently improving physical health.  Running on a treadmill 30 minutes a day in addition to resistance training and a moderate diet is not enough information for any one person to effectively impact their overall wellness and that that's what many in the fitness world fail to recognize.  In order for personal trainers and health clubs in general to considerably impact the health of our communities they need to become health and wellness educators in addition to fitness professionals as well as advocate for health and programs that will impact our entire population.  If we hope to turn the tide of health in our nation and reverse the trends of obesity we need to expect more from our health and wellness professionals and also realize that there does not exist one solution to a multi-tiered problem.  True health requires a multifaceted approach and a team of health and wellness professionals that are willing to work with you on all levels until you finally recognize success. 

Preventing Eating Disorders through Family Meals

Eating disorder can seem quite the mystery to those who have never experienced them and overwhelming for the individual battling with one and certainly daunting for the family and circle of friends involved.  Eating disorders are more common than one would think and can be extremely dangerous and life threatening.  Yet if caught in time and addressed appropriately the affected individual can recover and learn to live a healthful and vibrant life.

The umbrella of eating disorders generally includes anorexia nervosa (refusal to maintain a minimally normal body weight) and bulimia nervosa (binge eating followed by compensatory behaviors such as self-induced vomiting, excessive use of laxatives, diuretics; fasting or excessive exercise).  How does one end up with an eating disorder you may ask?  Well, the answers to that question are quite numerous however one may include reasons for some  disorders are attempts are gaining control over chaotic family dynamics, dysfunctional relationships, and high levels of emotional distress.  The good news is that families can help prevent eating disorders from occurring or fend them off with open communication, high levels of awareness and even simple family traditions. 

One 5 year study examined adolescent boys and girls and the frequency with which their families ate together in order to track the connection between family meals and differing degrees of disordered eating. The behaviors ranged from unhealthy ones, such as occasionally skipping meals to lose weight, to dangerous ones, including frequent use of laxatives and diet pills.  Among the adolescent girls, the researchers found that regular family meals were associated with a lower prevalence of extreme weight control behaviors. To a smaller degree, eating together also positively protected the girls against less extreme behaviors. Among adolescent boys, eating together did not result in lower levels of disordered eating, but the researchers said that more studies were warranted to determine if there was any association (2012, IDEA Health & Fitness Association). 

 “The high prevalence of disordered eating behaviors among adolescent girls and the protective role of family meals suggest a need for interventions aimed at promoting family meals,” the authors concluded in the January issue of the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine. 

So why would family meals help prevent eating disorders?  With the fast pace of today's life many families find little time to prepare healthy meals let alone sitting down together after a long day.  Family meals, when they happen, are part of a long tradition of keeping open communication channels open and putting life's issues out on the table so to speak.  Once communication lines are severed and/or open dialog is not encouraged families run the risk of unhealthy behaviors to find their way into the home.  Eating together as a family may help to maintain the integrity of our families, encourage ongoing healthy communication among all members and just as importantly keep healthy family tradition alive. 

The Art of Successful Failure

Often times when we think of successful people we tend to think that they were bred geniuses destined for success, fame and fortune.   Yet if you dig a little deeper you'll find that the great majority of them had numerous and staggering failures prior to their glory.  Which leads me to a few questions.  What do you do right after a failure?  What do you do after a rejection?  What do you do after a strike out?  What do you do after you trip up or fall flat on your face?  Do you stay there or do you get back up?  Do you bounce back or do you splat? 

One person in history who had extraordinary bounce back power had an amazing list of failures before he finally succeeded in a big way.  Who do you think the following person is?  He began by losing his job at the young age of 22.  He decided to get into politics at the age of 23 but was defeated for State Legislature.  Back in business the next year at age 24 he failed in business again yet at the age of 25 he was successfully elected to State Legislature.  Unfortunately at the age of 26 his sweetheart died and he had a nervous breakdown at 27.  He was defeated for House Speaker at the age of 29 and again the next year in a run for nomination for Congress.  By the age of 34 he was successfully elected for Congress but lost re-nomination at the age of 38.  From the age of 39 to 49 he was defeated in run for Commissioner, a run for the Senate, in a run for the nomination for Vice President and another defeat in a final run for Senate.  Utter failure.  Finally, by the age of 51, Abraham Lincoln was elected as the President of the United States.  Epic win. 

President Abraham Lincoln, arguably one of the greatest President's of all time successfully failed his way to great success and many others in history have followed suit one of which was Henry Ford.  While Ford is today known for his innovative assembly line and American-made cars, he wasn't an instant success.  In fact, his early businesses failed and left him broke five times before he founded the successful Ford Motor Company.

The billion-dollar business that is Honda began with a series of failures and fortunate turns of luck.  Soichiro Honda was turned down by Toyota Motor Corporation for a job after interviewing for a position as an engineer, leaving him unemployed for quite some time. He started making scooters of his own at home, and spurred on by his neighbors, finally started his own business.

In his younger years, teachers told Thomas Edison he was "too stupid to learn anything." Work was no better, as he was fired from his first two jobs for not being productive enough. Even as an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. Of course, all those unsuccessful attempts finally resulted in the design that worked.

And last but not least, let's not forget Michael Jordan.  Most people wouldn't believe that a man often lauded as the best basketball player of all time was actually cut from his high school basketball team. Luckily, Jordan didn't let this setback stop him from playing the game and he has stated, "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed.

From the above examples it's fairly clear that success isn't simply an inherently bred trait free of challenges, obstacles and failures.  Rather failure should be accepted, perhaps even expected.  Yet with diligence, thick-skin, persistence and a knack for bouncing back success may be inevitable. 

The Revolutionary A.S.K. Health Improvement Plan

That's right, there is a new revolutionary new health improvement plan out there and you're not going to want to miss it. If you've struggled with weight-loss, increasing strength, enhancing your endurance or improving your overall health this program is for you. But...there's a catch. You have to ask for it.

Every successful person I know did not just happen to stumble upon it. In addition to persistently working towards their goals and pushing forward after significant setbacks they also did one thing that helped them seal the deal: they had help. When you think about it every successful business person has a team of advisers and every competitive athlete also has help in the form of coaches and trainers. Can you imagine an Olympic athlete competing without a team of coaches and trainers? Absolutely not! Successful entrepreneurs have advisers, athletes have coaches and the best students I know have teachers and tutors. If you consider the above it seems fairly obvious that if we want to improve our chances at succeeding it may behoove us to ask for a little help. So if asking for help can significantly improve our chances of succeeding than why aren't more people asking?

Throughout our years in elementary, junior high and high-school we're taught many things including math, sciences, economics, English and a host of other subjects. What I don't remember learning however is how to prepare, plan and monitor dietary intake or create a progressive daily and annual workout regimen. Lastly I definitely don't remember learning assertive communication skills. With that in mind we've seemingly been left to fend for ourselves in all matters of health and wellness. If you're a parent please take this into consideration and help your own kids establish and learn healthy habits while their young; they won't learn this in school and your kids and our nation certainly needs a healthy future generation (yes this is a rant).

As we have discussed the majority of successful people work with advisers, coaches, teachers and mentors to further their success. These individuals understand that it's challenging to succeed on their own yet with the right team and guidance anything is possible. This too applies to our own health and well-being. The challenge is that the common sentiment overshadowing health is that it should be easy. Well, newsflash, it's not. Learning how to balance your life in a way that's productive, efficient, balanced, harmonious and healthy takes a lot of work, dedication and...advice. There are many amazing health, fitness and wellness professionals in our community and the ones I know are generous with their knowledge and advice so take advantage of it. So if you're looking for a little extra help with your own health and fitness goals remember that it may only take three little letters to push you beyond what you've accomplished to-date. You just have to ask for it.